Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Not Yet

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

brandon ya twwat

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

you are a åsshole :)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops