A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Penis.

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what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Women Sports.

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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