Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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Matt is not funny.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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