Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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