if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +17

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

your mother hates you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats a dick a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is an inappropriate joke and is meant to make you laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops