The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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I'm a raging homosexual.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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your mum

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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