roses are red violets are blue im in class

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Men's Sports

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats a willy? -brock

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops