A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Penis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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