Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops