Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A genie came out of a lamp explain?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Mike tyson

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

thumb_up thumb_down +31

WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i like pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops