Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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you and your family will die tonight

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Why does the party start when Kesha walks in? Well, it's Kesha's party and it would be rude to be in her house having a party when she wasn't there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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