- Anti Joke

Juggling lions and breast feeding.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

george goodburn is secretly mexican

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops