Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops