Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +42

if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

thumb_up thumb_down +40

5

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Mike tyson

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what's shaped like a tree? a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the baby die? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Straight men can be bronies.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops