Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A walrus walks into a bar

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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hey bill!

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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