Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Republicans

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Guess what? What? Idk. I just wanted to make u excited.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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you just contradicted yourself.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops