a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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69

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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How many Neurons does a bug have? - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -It's true

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops