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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I saw a shovel once.

Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

Error 37.

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

My friend harris is fat.

Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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