Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

An boy with ADHD walks into a

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops