Welcome to die!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Shit!

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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You are Nerochan right?

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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