What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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How many Neurons does a bug have? - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -It's true

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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