Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Republicans

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

2 women were sitting quietly

How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

Woman.

Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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