What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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-_- i like trains ... -_-

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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