One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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4-4-2

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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GONNA

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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