Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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