Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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pickle juice?

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Wade

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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