hipsters

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Gay's rights

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Your social life.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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Who lost World War II? The Jews.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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