What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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E= McVagina

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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