Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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