Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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feces

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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