You're Adopted.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops