Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

thumb_up thumb_down +6

matty russel are you on here

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops