A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Lil Wayne

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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4-4-2

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who is awesome? no one...

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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