Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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You smell like shit

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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the

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Pinus Testicles

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What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops