How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was danielle so fat? She can't help her bad genetics

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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