Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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