what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

Vagina ass.

Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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