Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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fart+fart=poop

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24

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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What's 4+7 47

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Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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