Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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I pooped my pants

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Poop

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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