Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are blue... No they are not they come in many different colors from cross breeding and different environments.... YOU ARE WRONG

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

thumb_up thumb_down -24

THEN WHO WAS FONE?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops