what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Girls

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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Knock knock --Come in.

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[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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