Hi

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Matt Damon

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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Women's rights

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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<=-[ J1MMY | Dubstep Maniacs Crew 4 Life ]-=>

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops