- Anti Joke

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist