What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is funny about family guy?the jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man climb to top of the tower? To push the Jew off.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

no

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops