Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +41

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

*spongebob voice* 25

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How old is your mom? Old.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

save water shower with friends

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Nothing yet CC

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops