How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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This is not a joke.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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