Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock,Knock Whos there ? Hola Holo who ? Holocaust Hahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My pet rock died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops