Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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Proof reading

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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i'm not gay

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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