A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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