The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

You just won the game...

neil patrick harris

What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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