How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

YOLO MAH BROLO

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops