- Anti Joke

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

how do you fall off a building? you trip.

PENIS

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

hi corey

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

A disabled man walks into a bar.

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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