Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

trumpy trumpy trump

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How old is your mom? Old.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why does Logan Cole beat off to Yo Gabba Gabba! ? Because Tim Tebow.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops